I must be wishing on someone else's star because it seems someone else is always getting what I wished for

Dear Pringles, Now that I am no longer a child, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Work on that.

called it a day and it said "A Day is my father's name, call me Jeff."

just press the star below n see wat happens ;p

scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today's status.

is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?

Go to Google. Type in "Ewmew Fudd". Click "I'm feeling lucky". You're welcome.

║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95

before you use the bathroom in someones house make sure you check they have toilet paper!!

™ is a registered trademark. All unauthorised reproduction and distribution will lead to prosecution.

Never moon a werewolf.

Build a man a fire and he is warm for a day. Set him on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.

is wishing that she could throw magic dust on her problems and make them disappear! Kind of like a wizard...or a crack addict!

thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"

~ The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

is wondering why his daughter's diaper holds no where near the 22-37 pounds it promises.

Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper

is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

says a clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

"Good morning...I see the assassins have failed."

says if you want to know anything at all come around my house - I've got a daughter who knows it all.........

~ Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.

I have no birthday that means I was not born therefore I cannot die